You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
