Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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