Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
