Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
