Non-Jews are for practice
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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