I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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