She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
