Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
