She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
