bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
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We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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