Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
