Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
