Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
