that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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