You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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