Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
