and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
