i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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