I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize