i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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