he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
