Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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