I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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