my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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