flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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