My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
