the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Your cock deserves a montage
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
