two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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