you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
