im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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