You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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