There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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