$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He has the fingertips of a God
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
