Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?