your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
