i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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