and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
