This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
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When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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