so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
its liver damage thursday
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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