oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
