Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
