I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
