How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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