naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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