Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
