I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
