Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
