The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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