i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
