WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
