i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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