I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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