She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
