I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
