As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
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Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize