sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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