i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
