More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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