stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
