All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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