my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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