She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
