I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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