He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
