did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
